Battle of the big, benevolent, bovine boners

Hola,
Rush concert was awesome. Mostly because there was a beer garden where Joe, Brendan, and I danced to our pagan gods and Joe bummed a cig from some guy. One of the toilets started to flood uncontrollably as soon as we got there, another sign of our devil worship manifesting itself. The concert itself was filled with mullets, rotund balls of fat and cholestorol encased in black Rush t-shirts, and children who were asking "whats that odd smell coming through the crowd?" and "What kind of plant are they showing on the projector screen, mommy?"

We then found a one Mr. Bob Ogle. BOB OGLE!....BOB OGLE! We then coversed while drinking Long island ice teas, whiskey sours, and other assorted beverages. Realizing that we were too far away from anywhere to pass out, we went to visit bob's camp, stealing sandwiches and soda from the dining hall. With one last pagan dance, we committed our souls to the afterworld and drank the kool-aid.

So now for my teaching of the great journey to the south.

Tired from the great slaying of the Rush, our hero returned home only to realize his quest was only beginning. For that day, he must grapple with the giant iron bird and travel to the land of oranges and lost presidential campains costing America it's future. His supplies were low and his clothes were stinky. His ultimate quest was to do battle with the dreaded "School Principle" of two independent schools. This would be no easy task, since our hero still had a headache.

Our hero traveled to the great Bazaar know as Macy's to pick up some battle armour, the blue formal shirt of pain, the kaki pants of the whale, and the belt of whupass. Content, he traveled to the roost of the iron bird and read the Silmarillion while he waited for the bird to leave.

Once reaching the land of Chicago, birthplace of the bears with only 1 super bowl wins, the iron bird died, our hero feasted on it's entrails and waited for his next iron bird to West Palm beach, but had to wait inside the bird while she refueled. On her projector screens, she tormented me with "Wild hogs". The pain was unbearable.

Tired from only 6 hrs or sleep and forlorn from his journey, our hero then had to travel to the caves of "The Pine School" and "North Broward Prep School". Dawning his enchanted rainment, he battled long into the day. Our hero persisted on, utterly exhausted from his trials, and finally won the day, but his victory was not assured, for the Principles would be back soon, giving tiding of failure or salaries and benefits. Our hero rested by the pool and relaxed, knowing he didn't have to do diddly till friday.

-Barry, giver of altruism, and boners