Friday, August 3, 2007

Titles of New Boat

So I've been putting a minimal amount of serious thought towards my own future. Many things are uncertain. However, one certainty is that I will be purchasing a J-24 within the next five years. But buying a boat isn't just something you up and do. It requires careful planning, delicate negotiations, and when you buy it, it requires hundreds of hours of intensive labor. The most important part of a sailboat, to me, is the twing. The second most important part is it's name. All of the mightiest ships to sail the seas for thousands of years have had great names. The Charles W. Morgan. The Allison Rose. The Salty Testicle. So... what should the name of my boat be? The usual categories come to mind; obscure science-fiction references (my first sailboat was named White Star... anyone?), literary allusions, and puns involving the word "Feinsilver." Fortunately, in this world of praxographical confusion, there exists one man to stab the sword of wit into the dark clouds of forgetfulness. Ahem.

(09:23:05) Jeph Wisniewski: Titty Boner Shark
(09:23:05) sketchapocalypse : now accepting name suggestions for my future boat
the following categories are acceptable:
-feinsilver puns
-obscure star wars/sci-fi references
-literary allusions
-dream babes

(09:23:18) Jeph Wisniewski: Maroon 5
(09:23:44) Jeph Wisniewski: Windalf the Grey
(09:24:17) Jeph Wisniewski: Pastry
(09:24:22) Jeph Wisniewski: Scallion
(09:24:26) Jeph Wisniewski: Wonder Loaf
(09:24:32) Jeph Wisniewski: Pot Roast
(09:25:16) Jeph Wisniewski: Pillow Pants
(09:25:41) Jeph Wisniewski: Shut Up
(09:25:55) Jeph Wisniewski: Oh No! This Water is Lava!
(09:26:15) Jeph Wisniewski: Burning Love Rod
(09:26:35) Jeph Wisniewski: USS I'm Gay
(09:26:55) Jeph Wisniewski: Burning Turd Furnace
(09:27:10) Jeph Wisniewski: Burning Rod Turd
(09:27:20) Jeph Wisniewski: Burning Rod Furnace
(09:27:38) Jeph Wisniewski: In the Cups
(09:27:46) Jeph Wisniewski: The Steppes
(09:27:58) Jeph Wisniewski: The Power of the Dragon Flame
(09:28:16) Jeph Wisniewski: What? You've Never Seen an Idiot Before?
(09:28:26) Jeph Wisniewski: Brett Favre
(09:28:39) Jeph Wisniewski: There's Penis in My Latka
(09:29:06) Jeph Wisniewski: Not Drunk, Just a Sailor
(09:29:20) Jeph Wisniewski: Moist Cabbage Underpants
(09:29:44) Jeph Wisniewski: Keel of Piety
(09:29:58) Jeph Wisniewski: Keel of Piety +2
(09:30:07) Jeph Wisniewski: Keel of Strength +4
(09:30:19) Jeph Wisniewski: Keel of Gay +69
(09:30:34) Jeph Wisniewski: Blow Me
(09:30:56) Jeph Wisniewski: Protogenesis
(09:31:40) Jeph Wisniewski: TillerKrönn, God of Direction
(09:32:41) Jeph Wisniewski: No Wonder This Isn´t Working... It´s My Penis!
(09:33:08) Jeph Wisniewski: USS No Pants
(09:33:08) sketchapocalypse : now accepting name suggestions for my future boat
the following categories are acceptable:
-feinsilver puns
-obscure star wars/sci-fi references
-literary allusions
-dream babes

(09:33:17) Jeph Wisniewski: i think your away message cut me off
(09:34:09) Jeph Wisniewski: Mastonderböatt, Pillar of Righteousness
(09:34:46) Jeph Wisniewski: Streamline
(09:34:54) Jeph Wisniewski: My Butt
(09:35:10) Jeph Wisniewski: Wind-Catching Butt Explosion
(09:35:37) Jeph Wisniewski: Turboat
(09:35:51) Jeph Wisniewski: Piece of Ship
(09:35:55) Jeph Wisniewski: Piece of ass
(09:36:25) Jeph Wisniewski: Shards of Strife
(09:36:43) Jeph Wisniewski: Dave Matthews Band
(09:37:05) Jeph Wisniewski: Sea Joe Sail
(09:37:19) Jeph Wisniewski: I Swallow
(09:38:05) Jeph Wisniewski: KoRn Unplugged
(09:38:08) Jeph Wisniewski: Butt Plug
(09:38:22) Jeph Wisniewski: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH'

Thanks be to Jeph, the Dragon God of Time, for providing so many options. Other punier ones are:

(23:57:19) rockmon1: the margret thatcher, beacause she's your dream-babe?
(23:27:59) back2mehih02020: flawed gold
(23:11:36) guessgrl102: once i saw a boat called funny cigarettes. i liked that.
(23:10:29) dloozer: dude...do you really need any other name? Galactica
(09:52:46) David 'Serge' Honeywell: the ss bartlett

post more! what a ridiculous spark of creativity!

2 comments:

Iron Chancellor said...

a full 15 minutes of names! WHAT A MAN

AND BY MAN I MEAN BITCH

BITCHHHHHHH

Tina DiAntonio said...

my real life vote is for Piece of Ship. That is the most witty.

My fake life vote is for No Wonder It's Not Working... It's My Penis! because that is the most hilarious/accurate.